Walls

I can feel them
creeping up
just like they used to
those walls
o the walls
'cause it's so hard
it's just so scary
to care so much
so long
so hard
and not be sure

and, don't worry,
I'm working on
talking myself
out of it
'cause I know
I do know that
I can't have you
and have my
impenetrable wall
and I want you
o, I do
don't I?

So I build
and I tear down
a brick up
two bricks down
a few more laid
another destroyed
and while I construct
and deconstruct
I wonder
I plan
how high?
how tall?
leave a gate?
a door?
just a window?
or no entrance at all?

Me and Today

All 'lone all 'lone all 'lone.
It's not what it was, but it's still something, right?
Right?
So why do I feel so lonely.
Solitary.
                                                                                                         Set. Apart.
Is it my fault, 'cause I insist on skippin' from peaks to valleys
without stopping at all the places in between?
Dizzy crescendos
or days thick with time like molasses.

Mom asks, "Isn't it tiring
to feel
as much as you feel?"

It is.
It's exhausting.
Worse than that.
It's lonely.
'Cause ain't nobody coming with me.
Who's coming with me?

I thought it was gonna be you.

And it was. 

For a while. 

Running up and down those peaks. 

Soaring and crashing. Crashing and soaring. 

So sweet to have a somebody to travel with. 

'til you stepped back

just like you did

that time before.

You play it just like that old song. 

Two hops forward. Too fast. 

One back. 

Enough of that until

I ended up down here all 'lone. 

And you, you're busy

studying maps,

highlighting trails,

collecting supplies,

and planning for contingencies. 

One days. Somedays. Maybes.

But there's only today

up there

down here. 

Just me and today.